I am so excited and blessed to be preparing to attend a live event with renowned NDE (Near Death Experience)r, Anita Moorjani this upcoming weekend. A friend of mine encouraged me to read her book before the event, but since I don’t have it yet, I went to her website, and to Amazon’s preview and read about her NDE today. I think it just changed my life completely, totally, irrevocably. In a way I can’t describe, I feel lighter, brighter, greater, and more fearless, in an instant.
Anita Moorjani literally died and came back from the afterlife and was instantly cured of the cancer that had ravaged her body for four long years. Doctors could not explain what had happened when every test result came back showing absolutely no signs of cancer just hours after they had witnessed her organs shutting down completely.
While she was in a coma, tiptoeing the line of life and death, she experienced an intense sense of freedom and clarity, love and joy that she could hardly put into words. She describes the experience as best she can in her book, Dying to Be Me.
I read the last two pages of it in the Amazon preview and this part specifically ignited my soul today:
“Finally, I cannot stress enough how important it is to enjoy yourself and not take yourself or life too seriously.”
She goes on to say, “Although you know I abhor creating doctrines, if I ever had to create a set of tenets for a spiritual path to healing, number one on my list would be to make sure to laugh as often as possible throughout every single day – and preferably laugh at myself. This would be hands down over and above any form of prayer, meditation, chanting or diet reform. Day to day problems never seem as big when viewed through a veil of humor and love.”
I have been taking life WAY too seriously!
It’s hard to accept responsibility for this, but I think that my limited beliefs of myself, judgements of myself, etc. have been creating my little limited reality.
Reading Anita’s words, I suddenly feel so much lighter, like I can take everything less seriously, and just look at life through eyes of joy and humor and have fun. Her entire message is that we are here in this life to HAVE FUN, enjoy life! Why do we waste so much time judging ourselves?
“Boy, if I’d only known that we were supposed to come here and feel good about ourselves and about life – express ourselves and have fun with it!” she says.
My life has felt so lead-blanket-on-the-heart sort of heavy the last few years, I have really forgotten in so many ways how to just have fun and enjoy life.
But, I believe that my perception can shift this entirely.
It’s so hard to explain, but I feel like I just woke up and decided to make a choice to enjoy life. I don’t need to sit here and ponder on yesterday or tomorrow anymore. I don’t need to search my soul for answers, or dig deeper into my heart for healing. I just need to be…happy.
My heart resonated when I read, “Life is not supposed to be a struggle.” For me, life has been such a struggle the last few years through so much death (at last count, 20 people in 4 years have passed on), financial struggles, life circumstances and hardships. The last few days, I’ve honestly been so unhappy and dripping quite a few tear stains on my sleeves, wondering how and why did I get here? Why are we still struggling so much? When will it get better?
I have felt like I was sitting on a precipice…a choice to remain still and stuck where I am, or move forward into realization of my magnificence as Anita calls it. I have felt that going to her event this weekend would change everything for me, and I had no idea how.
I thought that going to an event about a near-DEATH experience would further boost my ideas/understanding about death and dying, after four years that have been, for me, largely hallmarked by life-altering experiences of grief. I was hoping that maybe in attending and being around like-minded souls, I would be opened up to possibilities – the possibilities to express my own truths around these experiences I’ve had.
But, already, I’m realizing, I was not brought to Anita’s reflections to bolster my ideas about death. I was brought to them to recharge my ideas about life and living.
I have been sitting on a precipice of wanting to step into my magnificence, but I’ve been so scared, so afraid of standing up and speaking my truth. So many what if’s. What if they hate me? What will others think of me? What if I say or do the “wrong” thing? What if I don’t know what to say or how to do it? What if I’m not educated enough, smart enough, old enough…enough, enough, enough?!
Anita’s entire message from beyond is based on this: we are always, already enough. We are never less than anyone or anything. We already are all we need to be.
Just think how much suffering we’d be spared if we weren’t always trying to be more than we already are. How much suffering could you spare yourself if you loved your body, your relationship, your life, your finances, your children, yourself…just as they are now? If you weren’t always striving for things to be a better way?
I realize now that even my choices to eat healthy were coming from a desire to be better than, that stemmed from fear of disease or illness.
My self-loathing of this beautiful body that just birthed a baby and is taking it’s sweet time to get back to normal has caused me suffering, and thus, at times, my desire to make it better, were not FUN! Why not just work out and be healthy for the fun and joy of it?
Ah, a morning full of ah-ha’s! Just what I needed – a good slap of sunshine in the face!
I hope you will go read about Anita’s near-death experience and feel a boost of sunshine in your day, too.
As for me, I’m not sure what’s next…I would really like to believe that I was brought here for something great, and through all the death and struggle, I wanted/needed to believe it was not all for naught, that someday I’d make something of it, share it with the world, and then it would mean something because it helped someone.
But now I see, that maybe striving for excellence, was simply my way of trying to create happiness “somewhere out there”, when instead, I could just choose to be happiness here and now.
Right now, I am the Mother of three beautiful children, and the wife of a man who stuns and slays me daily. I am dead-freaking-tired, my house often looks like it’s just been robbed even though I feel like I spend all day every day cleaning it, I’ve begun to feel that make-up is pointless, and I’ve recently fallen in love with organic convenience meals. I’d love to write a book, host a workshop, plant a garden, win the lottery, or start a foundation.
I could, and might, one day do any or all of those things. Right now, I choose to be happy, regardless.
I’m going to hit “Publish Post” on this, go grab my two little boys (my daughter’s at school) and kiss them, have fun with them, have fun with myself, and create as many opportunities as possible to laugh at myself today.
I know the “tough stuff” is still there, but like Anita said, it all looks a little less buggy and scary, hard and undertaking, through the lens of laughter and light.
Perhaps my kids came to remind me of that…as much work as they are, one little smile or giggle from them makes everything beautiful in an instant, no matter how tired or sad or scared or lonely or angry I am. I am so thankful for that daily reminder.
Might I also add, that if you are in pain right now, like I was yesterday when I was feeling so frustrated with our constant struggle of late…you often cannot just flip a switch to choose to be happy without acknowledging, comforting, and expressing your pain first. I spent the day doing that yesterday, and I think that’s the only reason why I was able to receive Anita’s message today. So, if you are reading this, in a space of feeling negative emotions, hurt, or pain, I encourage you to read these posts before moving on to reading Anita’s.
And Part II to that post is here.
Blessings to you all, my friends. It’s good to be back (in so many ways)! Stay tuned, I will try to post about the event with Anita this weekend!